Tuesday, October 25, 2011

An adjustment in attitude

Last week Doug and I requested a meeting with both Roman's therapist and the doctor doing his neurofeedback. We had done 20 sessions and wanted to ask some questions, and kind of re-orient ourselves on the path we were taking and future steps. It was decided that for the next 5 weeks we would drop talk therapy and do neurofeedback 2x a week. We all were noticing that Ro does well for a few days after the neuro, then has a "spike" of uncontrollable moods for 2-3 days. We are hoping that by having neuro 2x a week this spike will go away.

The meeting was good in another way too - for me, it was great to get some positive feedback on the work we've been doing with Roman. So much of it has been adjusting how we planned to parent; what works for Roman is usually the opposite of our gut reaction. They both commented on how far we've come and reminded us what Roman was like 2 years ago... besides his sweet side, there was a definite love-of-violence and lack-of-compassion being displayed. He also really could take or leave me as his mom and had no spontaneous feelings of love toward me. Roman has really improved in that department, being willing to get physical with us (cuddled, hugged, even kissed!). His anger and his rages calm down much more quickly now, and we're better at handling them.

The worst part is, and for any parent I'm sure, is knowing that what's best for him now (long-term) is not always what he wants. He can't emotionally handle playing with neighborhood friends during the week, so I have to tell him no to that almost daily. He can't have his expected schedule after school changed in the slightest, so sometimes his world is rocked when I do have to run out and pick something up when he gets home. He is taking it in stride for the most part.

I can only hope that we continue to get better at this therapeutic parenting stuff and Charlie benefits too. Then we will have 2 great boys making it well through life.

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