Thursday, April 21, 2011

Adopted vs. Biological kids

There IS a difference. No matter what people try to tell you, or convince you, there just is. Charlie is more compatible with Doug and I, behavior-wise, because he is similar to us genetically. Roman has behaviors that, because of his genetics and environment when he was a baby, we find mystifying. We struggle daily trying to figure out what parts of Roman are just "him" and we have to adapt to. Sometimes we get so frustrated with a behavior and upon reflection later, realize that he has always been that way and probably always will be.

I often wish we had a biological kid before we adopted Roman. I think we would have noticed much earlier that Roman wasn't like "regular" kids. On the other hand, we just soak up any affection given from Charlie because we never got it from Roman. Roman is also learning from Charlie, both in playtime and affection-wise. We have noticed that he is giving kisses and being slightly more spontaneous in telling us sweet things; I think it's more because he sees Charlie than he actually feels these things. Who knows, though.

When playing with Charlie, as I've seen this week as they've been each other's only playmates, Roman is demonstrating much more imagination. His therapist has mentioned that emotionally Roman is really behind - more like a 5 year old than an almost-8 year old. He can fake it well with his peers, but he really does love to talk to and play with his stuffed animals and is right with Charlie when they play "guys." Coming to terms with this has been tough, but finally adapting to what he needs (even if we think it's weird) seems to have worked. He definitely understands what is "okay to do at home."

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A lesson in God being bigger than us

I have always been okay talking about death. Because it is unavoidable, perhaps because my parents handled my early experiences with it well. I had the privilege to talk to my Grandpa about his feelings about impending death when he was given just a couple months to live. It still remains as one of the best conversations I have ever had. My Grandma was the same way, very pragmatic about the whole thing. Because other family members were "too emotional" in her opinion, she asked me to write up her informal bequeaths, her obituary for the newspaper, and general directions in how her memorial service should run. It didn't bother me to do this at all - not only a favor to my grandmother, but also something I feel is pretty important anyway.


So. I try to talk with Roman pretty factual about death too. It's not scary, it's not something to avoid - in fact, we refer to it as going to live with God. And for hard-believing Christians, is there anything better, really? Wouldn't life be scary if you didn't firmly believe this? Yesterday was something I certainly never expected to need to talk about, though. The old ladies who live next to us also had their brother living with them. He passed away suddenly in the afternoon and I found myself in the odd position of explaining to Roman about how they take care of a body. Yes, because timing was terrible - Ro and I went out to do an errand right as the funeral home showed up to remove the body from the house. And oh, was Roman curious. We talked and I think/hope I handled it well. I just don't want him to be afraid of death either - death & taxes, right?

Monday, April 11, 2011

Good things in our future

Swim is over Tuesday. While I've had fun, I'm looking forward to getting my day back to normal. I've missed picking Roman up and having an hour ro so to catch up on things at home before cooking dinner.

Doug was told to expect a phone call regarding a career opportunity Tuesday. We both are excited to hear about it, but I haven't seen Doug this giddy in months.

Doug is going to see Rush in concert with his best friend Sunday night.

It's the last week of school before Spring break. We are going to Cleveland for a couple nights and looking forward to spending time with the boys with no real schedule. We would like to take in the Natural History Museum (dinosaurs!), Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Great Lakes Science Museum, and of course lots of time in the pool at the hotel.

Roman starts neurofeedback over break too. Hoping it helps with anxiety & ADHD.

It's the 4th marking period at school. That means we're on the downhill slope!

It's Doug's and my birthday month!

Time in the kitchen

In January I chose the word "time" to reflect on this year. I've done a lot of reflecting - just haven't blogged about it! Today I thought I'd do a fun post on the time I spent cleaning up the kitchen & putting groceries away - the music playlist I listened to while I did it!

Life's A Dance by John Michael Montgomery
I Feel Lucky by Mary Chapin Carpenter
Our Song by Taylor Swift
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Don't Stop by Wade Hayes
The Nations of the World - Animaniacs
Rock of Ages by Def Leppard
Take A Look At My Girlfriend - Supertramp
American Woman by Lenny Kravitz
Stupid Girls by Pink
Fruits by Knee Deep Shag

Doug caught me grooving & singing at Coldplay and just laughed at me. All were good sing-along songs and the kitchen now looks great!