Monday, August 23, 2010

a Halloween conversation

Driving past the temporary Halloween store on Aug. 23:

Roman: "Can we get my costume today?"

me: No.

R: "Why not?"

me: Because you haven't truly decided what you want to be, and I don't want you to change your mind after we buy something.

R: "I do know! I want to be a zombie ninja!"

me: A zombie ninja?

R: "Yes! Or, a Jedi. Or, anything else they have that I might like."

So he hasn't decided yet, but at least we've narrowed it down, eh? Charlie, on the other hand, hooted for a Buzz Lightyear costume at Toys R Us and has worn it around the house already. Clearly he knows his own mind. By the way, I Googled it & there is an actual "zombie ninja" costume. Wow.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Charlie pedals, Roman chants

Continuing to encourage Charlie in his pedaling pursuits, Roman first modeled correct biking procedure while Charlie watched all summer. At this point, Roman was giving Charlie pushes from behind & chanting songs to encourage him. And then, all of the sudden.... Charlie pedaled!

Currently he pedals about three-fourths of the time, doing the "Flintstone" with his feet the rest. But he does love to be like big brother!

Friday, August 13, 2010

She's crafty... she's just my type!

Here are some things I've been playing around with lately.

Covered a bare holder with coordinating papers.

spray painted a black candle holder brown.

Moved these items to a better canvas, updated the pictures, and hung.

Shelves in the dining room that can be really cool if I could just find the right things/positions.
I really enjoy doing & making things. Because I'm truly not that artistic, often a project doesn't turn out the way I visualize. But then I can keep tweaking things. And I love doing stuff for the house. If it were up to me, I'd be buying & playing around with knick-knacks all day long. And by no means are these things "done." I'm constantly thinking of changing colors or moving things or adding to it. But there is definitely more to come - I have a couple mini-albums I'd like to scrap (or at least put the paper on the pages!) and as our master bedroom has been painted a new color, I've got a couple of crafty ideas for in there too.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Highs & lows

With Roman, the little victories mean a lot. Especially me, as he seems to have such trouble expressing his love & affection toward me. I sometimes wonder if it's there at all. He's definitely not securely attached to me. For example, what I usually get is what happened tonight. He's at his grandparents, and he called us at 9:15 because he was having a hard time falling asleep. And he told Doug, he realized why - "I didn't say goodnight to you." Not me - he didn't even ask for me - it was Dad. When I tell him I love him, as I did on the phone, I get the same reply - "okay." Can you imagine telling someone you love them daily and only getting an "okay" in response? Doug told him the same thing on the phone, and Roman of course replied "Love you too." It's clear where I stand. It's hard to not take this personally, but it's what I have to do. It's not me, it's my position as mother.

That's why I have to take the little things in a big way. Like when we were getting ready to go meet my parents & Roman spontaneously said, "I'm going to miss you." I don't think he's ever told me that before. And the other night, he cuddled next to me while watching tv even though his Dad was there too. I remember once someone told me that it was the parents' job to love the children, and to earn their love in return. But in a natural relationship, even with parent/child, there is affection that comes back to the parent. I hear parents say "Oh, isn't it wonderful" and how it's the "best job in the world" to be a mom or dad. They clearly get affirmation from their children in some way. I had never experienced that at all until Charlie came along. Spontaneous hugs, the attach-explore stage, running to a parent for comfort... all things Roman has never done. I hurt so badly for how damaged he is in that respect, and once in awhile I have a small pity party for me - because I live his damage now too.