Saturday, April 10, 2010

Russian adoption in the news, again

If you haven't heard about the 7-year-old whose adoptive mother sent him back to Russia, you should check it out. It's horrible. My heart aches for the boy - and the mother. Granted, she's an idiot for just sending him back - legally he's her child for goodness sakes! But information I saw in the first story (which I haven't seen repeated) is an interview with a psychologist stating that adoptive parents are not prepared for the psychological wounds that many adoptees have. We truly cannot appreciate the backgrounds many of these kids come from, or the neglect or abuse they have suffered.

I can only imagine what life must've been like in that home. A woman at her wit's end, a child so needy & damaged. What had this child seen & experienced? Clearly the woman was not prepared for it. Of course, she should have been prepared for anything & everything. However, I must admit even Roman's behaviors have made me think more than once "What the hell have we gotten ourselves into? Why did we adopt?"

I read a post on a blog the other day (sorry, don't have the link) where the adoptive mom was explaining how she felt all international adoptees have "special needs" - some are physical, but almost all have special needs emotionally. If only all adoptive parents acknowledged that! It makes me sad wondering how many other families are struggling in this kind of situation and don't have the information or help available, and are on the edge of just plain giving up.

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