Friday, November 06, 2009

not the most stable, emotionally, right now

I'm having trouble writing my eulogy for Grandma's memorial. Usually the words pour out - they did when I spoke at my Grandpa's. And the general idea is written down, but I feel like it's disjointed, no flow. (Like this post is going to be, I think.) That bugs me. So on the drive I'm going to do a little pencil-&-paper revising.

This morning was the first of many appointments with Roman to start testing him emotionally, cognitively, behaviorally... whatever you can think of. We want to find out how his brain works and how he perceives & interprets things, so we can best work with him. It's emotionally frustrating to have a child who doesn't respond "normally" to discipline or situations, who needs so much more from us than we originally thought. Some things we realize we did wrong from the beginning - well, not wrong, because we had the best of intentions - but we didn't respond to Roman's needs as well as we should have. But we're doing our best now.

With trying to figure out appointment times for Roman, and taking off work, and not dealing with grief much yet, I think Saturday I'm going to be a basket case. We've talked with Roman about all the grief he's going to see and how it's totally okay. I hope to demonstrate for Roman how someone can celebrate & grieve at the same time; how death is an acceptable part of life and nothing to be afraid of. Whew, got a lot to do this weekend!

1 comment:

Sheryl said...

My thoughts are with you and family this weekend. Just remember 'the ole woman' always knew how much you loved her and still does. :)**hugs**