Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Preparing for the long haul

I'm moving in, requesting things from Doug from home; pillows, personal hygiene stuff, clothes. It's nice I can wear my regular clothes here. The social worker came to visit me today - I liked her alot, better than the one we talked to this weekend.She was funny, said she knew right away I was a planner and a worrier. I didn't think it was that obvious, but she said she could tell from my job - any teacher is a planner and worrier! She gave me an overview of what to expect for myself and immediate family over the next few days, and suggestions on coping.

First, she suggested journaling - which I obviously do. She said besides my own feelings, however, I have to start journaling TO Charlie. This was an idea i hadn't gotten to yet, but she said a lot of women will get angry with the fetus over this situation and therefore not bond later (another topic I've been thinking on for awhile) so she encouraged me to write to Charlie. I told her I scrapbooked too, and we talked about making a little album like through Shutterfly or something, of my situation here. She said especially if I'm here awhile, it's part of the journey I need to accept.
She also asked about Doug's and my relationship, and encouraged us to set a "date night" if at all possible. She said this was another thing that women will do - continue to focus on the kids at home, the job on hold, the baby to hold in, but not the relationship with husband. She even went so far to mention that there have been romantic dinners known to happen in these rooms - bring in some carryout, turn the lights down, and make a little "do not disturb" sign (for an hour or so) just to have some alone time. This sounded so good to me I almost started crying. Which, she reassured me, they are totally used to weepy women on this floor.

Other things they have here at the hospital are a concierge service for me. I have to pay mileage and cost of whatever they're getting, but I can send a concierge out to get me anything I want. Can you imagine?! She said often it's just magazines, or whatever, but I can send them to CVS, the Coney Island around the corner, whatever I want. They are continuing to try to find ways to keep us bedridden women in control. I also requested a price list for the "Beaumont Spa," as they do pedicures and I'm pretty excited about that. I've also been thinking about online shopping... but we won't mention that to Doug just yet. :)
So all in all, this may be easier on me than it is for Doug. I'm working on ideas to relieve him for periods of time, but not to keep shipping Roman off to other people, either. It's tricky for the next week or two, I think, to balance what we all need. And Roman is still the most important, in my opinion.

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