Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Adoption thoughts

Roman will ask interesting things about his adoption sometimes. According to my favorite adoption book, "The Lifelong Search for Self," which talks about the general "stages" that an adoptee goes through, Roman is in the "Becoming a person, becoming a thinker, and parroting the adoption story" stage. This is very evident in some of his questions. For example, we have been talking about names. First name, last name, and people will often comment on his first name and how "unusual" or "unique" it is. Now I personally don't think so, but then...

Anyway, Roman asked me the other day after a visit to the doctor's office, after his medical history in Russia was discussed, if he had a Russian name. I thought this was a brilliant leap of intelligence for him. I told him that he did, and told him what his last name was in Russia. He giggled because it sounds funny, and didn't say anything else.

A few days later, seemingly out of the blue, he asked if anyone else had his Russian name. Now, is that brilliant or what?! I explained that his birthmom had a matching last name, but when he was adopted by us, we gave him our own last name. He was satisfied with this, apparently, and I try never to give more information at this stage than what he asks. (the same goes for talking about sex, by the way - at this age, they really do want only the answers to their questions, not a long drawn-out explanation.)

But how interesting, really, and I imagine he had turned this "Russian last name" idea around in his head quite a few times and thought about it before asking me his second question. Definitely a thinker.

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